What "Healthy Eating" Means to Me

Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: What is natural parenting?

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our Carnival coincides with the launch of Natural Parents Network, a community of parents and parents-to-be who practice or are interested in attachment parenting and natural family living. Join us at Natural Parents Network to be informed, empowered, and inspired!

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Over the past 10 years together, Lonnie and I have made significant progress on the healthy eating front.  When we first met we were in high school and eating nachos washed down with a Mountain Dew was not unusual.  Ha!  But, we were lucky to both come from families who valued healthy eating and home cooking, and from that absorbed both a love of food and a love of cooking.  

In our early days, as a kid-free couple in our twenties just starting out in our careers, we cooked less, ate way more convenience foods, and ate out a lot.  We still ate our vegetables and cooked at home, but true healthy eating was not as big of a priority.   We were young and had years ahead to deal with all that!  

With the onset of Lonnie’s dairy allergy, things changed.  Suddenly we were reading labels.  A lot.  We saw how much crap was in all that stuff we were eating.  Taking the dairy out of foods (and later beef, too) really can make a dent in the amount of fat you are consuming withsome meals!  Eating out was more of a challenge, too — we had to start avoiding certain restaurants altogether, and asking questions more often when at the places we did (mostly Asian restaurants – which are generally dairy-free and sometimes fairly healthy — and abundant! —  here in Seattle).

When kids came along, there was the added pressure to feed them well and to model healthy eating — because it sure is hard to hand them the bowl of oatmeal and then eat a doughnut or potato chips right in front of them!  While they were very young, it was definitely hard to find the time to cook all the time, but for us, more of a challenge to take them out to a restaurant, so we just figured it out.  Key, for us, is the fact that BOTH of us can (and like to) cook — when I was too sick and tired with pregnancy, or nursing fussy babies all evening, Lonnie took over, for months or years at a time.  Thank goodness!  And over time, we’ve just made more and more gradual changes that have added up to a pretty decent level of healthy eating, I’d like to think.   Honestly, we really don’t miss our old habits much at all! 

So, what does healthy eating mean to me now?  Here is what I strive for:

Serving my family home-cooked meals from whole foods – fruits, vegetables, grains, proteins and fats (including meats and dairy products, for us) – often, every day, for most, if not all, of our meals.  

Buying organic or sustainably raised foods when possible, particularly with regards to "the dirty dozen" and to meat, fish & dairy.  Learning to cook or eat differently (i.e. more vegetarian) to make this more affordable!  

Buying basic ingredients and cooking our own foods, instead of buying things processed.  This applies to main meals as well as snack and "convenience" foods.  I try to make — instead of buy — things like bread, waffles & pancakes, biscuits and muffins, granola bars, snack/trail mixes, cookies and treats, etc.  My next challenge — making or baking homemade crackers & cereal bars — two things my kids adore!

Eating whole grains, not "white" foods.  Whole grain pasta, brown rice, quinoa.  Whole wheat couscous, whole grain breads, tortillas, cold and hot cereals (some of these are obviously somewhat processed, but we at least aim for whole grain/high fiber!). 

Eating nutrient dense foods (avocados, berries, greens, beans and meats, etc) to make the most out of our food calories.    

Aiming for variety – serving a range of different foods each day, while also keeping mealtime simple without overwhelming my kids with too many options.  For each snack or meal, I try to serve a fruit or vegetable, a grain, and a protein (ideally with some fat).  Sometimes snacks are just fruit — I am trying to do this more, actually — but I do find my kids & I often need a little protein and fat to "make it stick".  

Striking a balance –  making no foods forbidden or "off limits".  While the bulk of our foods are whole foods and the like, we also buy some of the processed stuff (see Emma’s birthday dinner — box mac & hotdogs!).  I do sometimes buy (and we all enjoy) things like deli meats, box mac & cheese, tater tots, Oreos, soda and chips. We do the occasional take out and fast food (emphasis on the occasional!).   We eat sweets — in moderation — including ice cream, cookies, chocolate and candy.  We serve fried chicken and fish and chips (cooked at home, generally) and go through a fair bit of mayo, because man, they’re delicious!  I personally don’t have the willpower (or the desire) to avoid these things altogether, and believe that the only way for kids to learn how to moderate their own consumption of these kinds of foods (and eat healthfully in the long run, once they are in charge of their own menus) is to model it ourselves at home. 

And finally — sitting down together, to eat as a family, daily.  I really believe that its important for kids to be a part of family meals from as early on as possible, to see and eat what the adults are eating, to come together as a family and to talk to each other about our day.  We are so lucky, I know, to be able to do this easily — Lonnie’s work schedule (and ability to choose his hours, to some degree) allows him to be home with us for a family dinner every night.  I could be better about sitting down and being present with the kids during breakfast and lunch, for sure — I think this is important too!  It is easy to use this time to catch up on various things (chores, making my own different food, checking email) but I know my kids would prefer  (and be better off) if I sat down and connected with them — at least some of the time — instead! 

What are your top healthy eating goals right now?  What are you feeling successful with, and what is still a challenge?    

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Stop by Natural Parents Network today to see excerpts from everyone’s posts, and please visit a few to read more! Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants. Three of the participants below will instead be featured on Natural Parents Network throughout the month, so check back at NPN!

This list will be updated by afternoon November 9 with all the carnival links. We’ve arranged it this month according to the categories of our NPN resource pages on "What Is Natural Parenting?"

Attachment/Responsive Parenting

Attachment/responsive parenting is generally considered to include the following (descriptions/lists are not exhaustive; please follow each link to learn more):

1. PREPARE FOR PREGNANCY, BIRTH, AND PARENTING:
   • "Preparing for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting" — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes knows better now how to prepare for her second baby, focusing on attachment rather than nursery curtains. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 23. (@sheryljesin)
   • "Begin at the Beginning" — Alison at BluebirdMama examines the first type of natural parenting she experienced: birthing at home. (@BluebirdMama)
2. FEED WITH LOVE AND RESPECT:
   • "Going With the {Tandem Milk} Flow" — Despite being told she would never be able to nurse her toddler through pregnancy, Jessika at Job Description: Mommy successfully nursed through her entire pregnancy, and she continues tandem nursing her two little ones fifteen months later! (@JobDescMommy)
   • "Breastfeeding with Love and Respect" — Resisting the pressure to give up, breastfeeding was the way Dionna at NursingFreedom.org persisted in nourishing her son. (@NursingFreedom)
   • "Why Should I Call It Extended?" — Amy at Toddler In Tow provides scientifically based research to support child-led weaning.
3. RESPOND WITH SENSITIVITY:
   • "Attachment Parenting Chose Us" — For a child who is born "sensitive," attachment parenting is more a way of life than a parenting "choice." Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her experiences. (@CodeNameMama)
   • "Parenting in the Present" — Acacia at Be Present Mama parents naturally by being fully present.
   • "Parenting With Heart" — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment parents naturally because healthy attachments early in life help our little ones grow into healthy, functioning adults.
4. USE NURTURING TOUCH:
   • "Nurturing through touch" — Lauren at Hobo Mama finds that loving touch is a thread that runs through all her natural parenting practices. (@Hobo_Mama)
5. ENSURE SAFE SLEEP:
   • "Sometimes I Wish We Coslept" — Sheila at A Gift Universe has started to add cosleeping into her sleep routines and has found frequently unspoken benefits. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 30. (@agiftuniverse)
6. PROVIDE CONSISTENT AND LOVING CARE:
   • "Attachment Parenting . . . and Nanny Makes Three?" — When Jen at Grow with Graces first started interviewing nannies, she was looking for practicalities. After a few months with her first nanny, she’s going to hire someone new, and this time, she’ll make sure the nanny believes in AP principles. (@growwithgraces)
   • "Do You Have This?" — For Rachael at The Variegated Life, natural parenting is about love and giving, rather than the alienation and longing present in so many in our Western culture. (@RachaelNevins)
   • "What Natural Parenting Looks Like in Our Family" — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker shares what natural parenting is like as your little ones grow up.
7. PRACTICE GENTLE/POSITIVE DISCIPLINE:
   • "Unconditional Parenting" — The philosophy of Alfie Kohn resonates with Erin at Multiple Musings, who does not want to parent (or teach) using rewards and punishment. (@ErinLittle)
8. STRIVE FOR BALANCE IN PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE:
   • "Reducing Screen Time" — How does Mrs. H. at Fleeting Moments meaningfully connect with her kids every day? She turns off the TV.
   • Also see our October Carnival all about finding balance!

Ecological Responsibility and Love of Nature

• "Healing Through Elimination Communication Part 1" — Amy at Innate Parenting explains how practicing elimination communication has helped her whole family gain awareness and healing in many areas of their lives. (@InnateWholeness)
• "Growing Out of Little Potties" — Stacy at Mama-Om is proud to be the "weird lady" who practices elimination communication with her babies. (@mama_om)
• "Let’s Talk Diapers" — Lindsey at Mama Cum Laude started using cloth diapers because she felt they were a safer choice for her child; she stuck with them because they are convenient.

Holistic Health Practices

• "Supporting Natural Immunity" — If you have decided against the traditional vaccination schedule, Starr at Earth Mama has some helpful tips for strengthening your children’s immune systems naturally.

Natural Learning

• "Acceptance as a Key to Natural Parenting" — Because Mrs. Green at Little Green Blog values accepting and responding to her daughter’s needs, she was able to unravel the mystery of her daughter’s learning "challenges." (@myzerowaste)
• "Let Them Look" — Betsy at Honest 2 Betsy makes time to look at, to touch, and to drool on the pinecones.
• "Why I Love Unschooling" — Unschooling isn’t just about learning for Darcel at The Mahogany Way — it is a way of life. (@MahoganyWayMama)
• "Is He Already Behind?"Ever worry that your baby or toddler is behind the curve? Danielle at born.in.japan will reassure you about the many ways your little one is learning — naturally — every day. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 16. (@borninjp)
• "How to Help Your Child through Natural Learning" — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now offers tips on how to understand and nurture your child’s natural learning style. (@DebChitwood)

Healthy Living

• "What ‘Healthy Eating’ Means to Me" — Wonder how a family of five makes healthy eating a priority? Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares some common sense tips. (@sunfrog)
• "What is Natural Parenting? Embracing Real Food" — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has always wanted to give her children the most nutritious foods possible: first through breastfeeding, and later through healthy, whole foods. (@bfmom)

Parenting Philosophies

• "Natural Parenting — Lazy Parenting" — To Olivia at Write About Birth, natural parenting isn’t about a fixed set of ideals, but about what is instinctual. (@writeaboutbirth)
• "I’m not the most crunchy, but I’m still au naturel" — Jessica at This is Worthwhile follows her gut and parents with respect, and that’s what feels natural to her. (@tisworthwhile)
• "Because Natural comes Naturally" — Breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping — Bess at mommakesmilk does these things because they feel right. (@MumtoEve)
• "What Do You Mean ‘Natural Parenting’?" — Luschka at Diary of a First Child fell into natural parenting by listening to her baby and her own instincts. (@lvano)
• "One Little Change at a Time" — Ashley at Domestic Chaos made one small change at a time until "natural parenting" wasn’t a punchline, but a way of life. (@ashleympoland)
• "WHY Attachment Parenting?" — While they might take some work to put into practice, Momma Jorje at A Slightly Crunchy Momma finds that all of the tenets of attachment parenting fit her family.
• "Yours, Respectfully" — For Kellie at Our Mindful Life, natural parenting is about being respectful: to yourself, your children, and your surroundings.
• "The Natural Parenting Label" — Michelle at The Parent Vortex explains that natural parenting is a mindset, not a set of specific choices or a few fancy acronyms. (@TheParentVortex)
• "When Our Children Are Grown" — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children parents naturally, because she is building a firm foundation for her children.
• "What is Natural Parenting to a Witch Mom?" — Lily at Witch Mom has planned out what she wants for her son, from health to socialization to interactions with the natural world. (@lilyshahar)
• "Attachment Parenting and Our Family" — Semi-crunchy Mama at Adventures in Mommyhood takes us through the way the Baby Bs have transformed their family of four. (@crunchymamato2)
• "I’m a Mama…Naturally" — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. didn’t intend to parent naturally, but it happened by instinct.

Political and Social Activism

• "A Private Matter" — Amy at Anktangle, who is a Registered Nurse, describes her encounters with circumcision in a medical environment and why they guided her decision to leave her own baby boy intact. (@anktangle)
• "Natural Parenting, Following Our Instincts, and Keeping Our Son Intact" — Kelly at KellyNaturally went against the tide and refused to circumcise her son. (@kellynaturally)
• "Relying on Kindness" — Sure, Navelgazing Bajan at Navelgazing wants her son to be kind — but kindness is not enough. (@BlkWmnDoBF)

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