The past few days I have been thinking more about how I schedule our day, and how to be more intentional about the things we do here. When I was a new mother, I thought scheduling was for the birds, not good for babies and definitely not my style, at all. As a childless person, I think we often enjoy and rather pride ourselves on our spontaneity, our lack of ruts & routines, thinking that that is a great way to go. And it can be!
But then. Kids. After having three kids I really and truly believe that many (most? or just mine?) young children thrive on routines, and even scheduling, to some degree. Knowing what comes next, or the steps between X and Y gives them a sense of control that they crave. Having bellies full and sleep coming at a regular time, with regular cues each day, leads to a more restful body.
I didn’t learn this until beyond the first year with Emma, but with twins and a toddler you can bet we had things somewhat organized much earlier on (as best you can, with little ones, of course!). But up until now, while I’ve been good about routines regarding sleep, mealtimes, and some transitions, I haven’t actually planned out our days, in any sort of meaningful way. We certainly have a regular pattern, but its not intentional, for the most part, and it often falls back on the same old things, that aren’t always that successful (the same type of free/group playing, with me refereeing, for example) or covering what I’d like (doing cool projects, having regular and reliable outdoor/physical activity, working on quiet independant activities, etc).
I realize now that I need to make a plan. Kind of like a lesson plan — the thing I both dreaded and craved (and was never without, in some rough form) as a teacher. Something that makes sure we cover what we need to, changes things up from activity to activity, accounts for the needs of the individuals, is flexible but also predictable. Of COURSE you need some kind of plan. Doh!
So, thats my goal for the coming week! I will post more once I play around with things and see what works.
Thank you to Jaime at Steady Mom, both for the idea of intentional day planning (thanks to her book, Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood) and for this week’s mom’s 30-minute blog challenge, of which this post is a part.
Check here for Part 2: Parenting With Intention, Creating A Daily Plan
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You are so right on this – I am really trying to work on the same concept with my 3. It took me a while to figure out the routine thing too, and I’ve really just let the rest of our days kind of flow as they will. I need to work on things like you mentioned – covering what I’d really like for us to do instead of just seeing what happens… (which usually means too much tv)! thanks!
Oh I love this! I need to do this more too. We have a routine around some things but our days feel sort of groundless a lot. And I definitely want to work more cool projects and things into our days and weeks. I must ponder and blog about this too. And I am interested to see what you do!
yes, I’ve found planning is really helpful. I’ve been out of work since Oct and we have not lain around. people ask if we are still in our pjs and I’m all NO. I’ve gotten memberships to most kids places (luckily many are still free for my two year old) and weekly we go to at least 2-3 places out of the house that now (since we have a membership) don’t cost us money. we bring snacks or eat. I’ve also (just in the last two weeks) gotten all his toys put away. so now its not mess, its intentional “we are going to play with this.” and we both enjoy that more. he has his favorites but when I think I can’t play with trains one.more.time. I say “well let’s do stickers” or “let’s do mr potato head” and he’s happy cause I’m playing with him and its something novel.
I’m really excited to to see what you come up with. I’m also a former teacher and see the value in having some light structure to the day. My husband and I started off strong when Oliver was a newborn and created some really nice morning and bedtime routines. But, now that he’s older, I haven’t added a lot of intention to our days. Sure, we have regular activities through out the week – but I’m always wishing we had more rituals for bonding each day. Looking forward to your next posts on this!
So very true!!! I agree kids thrive on some routine.
I couldn’t agree more. My days are infinitely better when we’re following our routine.
Great 30 minute post!!! I have found the only way to get the fun stuff done is to decide what fun thing we will do for the day and actually just start it!!! Often I have visions of a project being wildly messy and I just can’t stand the thought and it turns out peaceful and lovely!!! It really is my mental “let’s not do that today” that stops us from doing the fun stuff!!! all the best with your plotting and planning.
Now that my little man has just turned one, I am finding myself craving the same sort of intentional planning that you are. While our days are always full, they are not always full of the good stuff that I crave for him and for me.
As much as I am loathe to admit, I feel we really could benefit from a more predictable schedule/routine. Library on Wednesdays. Baking on Tuesdays. etc.
I’ve been working on this sort of routine for myself and my housework and am just beginning to plot how it would work for my son and I. I think it would help me be intentional about our days, rather than having the hold day pass without really knowing what happened.
Looking forward to seeing how this progresses for you.